I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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