the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
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