non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
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