I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
Randomize
