Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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