I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
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