If you die in college, do you die in real life?
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
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