I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
