i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
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