I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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