Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
Randomize
