Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
Randomize
