they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
Randomize
