He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
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