my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
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