Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
Randomize
