that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
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