addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
Randomize
