i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
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