Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
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