You're completely useless in the revolution.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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