I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
Randomize
