I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
Enjoy the penises
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
Randomize
