At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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