I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
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