Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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