As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
Randomize
