just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
Randomize
