i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Randomize
