My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
Randomize
