I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize
