Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
