just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
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