Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
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