Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Randomize
