i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Randomize
