i may or may not be watching the land before time
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
