I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Randomize
