if you like me you must not know who I am
I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
Randomize