I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
