be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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