Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
Vodka?
Forever.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
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