She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
Randomize
