You're a womanizer and a bitch.
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
Randomize
