you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
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