Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
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