the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
Randomize
