he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
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