apparently the secret to your success is patron
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
jump out the window naked night went bad
Randomize
