its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
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