So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
i may or may not be watching the land before time
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize
