His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
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