I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
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