omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
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