check it out our google latitudes are spooning
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
Randomize
