he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
