please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
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