Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
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