Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
Randomize
